World's Wost Love Letter...

yea well...thanks to the one moronic mail i got, i went looking for more....and here's what my internet search spewed forth. Maybe i will call A****h after all!...

Dear Bertha,

I lack the bravery and endurance requisite to face you with my feelings, so I am writing this letter to you in the hopes that you can read it.
I remember the first time I saw you. I don't know if I was attracted to you because of your radiant personality, your sunny disposition, or your gravitational pull. All I know is that once I got close to you, as much as I wanted to, I couldn't leave.
And I think back to some of the trials and tribulations in our relationship. Like that time you tried on that thong bikinni you said you would look terrible in. I'm truely impressed by the bravery it took to even try it in light of how right you were.
And I know it makes you uncomfortable that I sometimes hang out with your ex, but your cousin and I hardly ever discuss you and when we do, it is always positive.
Every day while I am working in the sewage treatment plant, all I can think of is you. When I found that ring I gave to you floating through, I knew it must have been divine intervention that had kept us together so long.
When I talk to my friends about you, they all agree, you're "a whole lot of woman". I couldn't have said it better myself.

With what I think is probably love,
Bryant