..ho-humm..

duh!

Haven't had a moment to spare people...in the mean time, i thought this one was hilarious!! enjai!

A guy goes to the supermarket and notices a beautiful blonde wave at him and say hello.
He's rather taken aback, because he can't place where he knows
her from.
So he says, "Do you know me?" and she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
His mind races back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, "My God, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I laid on the pool table with all my buddies watching, while your partner whipped my butt with wet celery and then stuck a carrot up my butt???"
She looks into his eyes and calmly says,

"No, I'm your son's maths teacher."

We're all going to Delhi! We're all going to Delhi!!!

Yup...after an absolutely rocking birthday celebration, I'm now off to Delhi for Diwali! So excited about seeing all my Dilliwalla's again! Yay! I'll be back Monday and hopefully will not get a chance to see a computer screen until then! Happy Diwali pholks and have a great year ahead!!!!

Buh-bye!

There are just some songs that you hear a few times and can't seem to get out of your head...these here are two of them. They were released so many years ago but I still haven't managed to get my hands on the mp3s.(have an acoustic version of "desperately wanting" but really really want the original!!)...but the videos seem to be available. If any of you happen to be able to get your hands on either...I’d really appreciate a mail..:)

Duncan Sheik - Wishful Thinking

Better Than Ezra - Desperately Waiting

Jars Of Clay - Flood

Bollocks!!!

Ok…so as promised, Ramesh did take me out last night… to this place I happily called “Bollocks and Bush” (…and later found out was actually christened “Bull and Bush”...yea, like THAT’s so much better!! Duh!). It turned out to be a rather pleasant evening with the DJ playing dvd’s of Pink Floyd and Led Zeppelin and the Eagles..(really not so crazy about Floyd and Led Zep (Thanks to Nirav! But that’s an entirely different story for another time) but hey, it turns out that consuming copious quantities of alcohol is a great way to tune out the sound!). Of course Ramesh and I decided that we wanted to request a few song, being their numero uno customers and all..(he was drinking their finest..(ahem..ahem) scotch after all) and it also turned out that the aforementioned DJ had none of em! Now I ask you.. which self respecting DJ (..we’re talking about the kind that still play good ol’ rock and not the Britney Spears toting wusses!!) doesn’t have a good dose of the Police, Pearl Jam and STP?!? Go figure! Well anyways, after we had our fill..(..the last order here is 10.30 people…and at 11 they actually come and take your glasses away.. so beware!) we sauntered on back home where Ramesh helped me unpack two more cartons in preparation of the coming of her-fabulousness Nish-pish..who gets into town tonight for my birthday. And, I seriously think I might be getting old cos..
a) When we walked into the Bollocks place I actually asked the management to turn the music down (it was just too loud! was totally giving me a headache!!!)and
b) I was completely ready to pass out at about 3ish and didn’t even want to finish my bottle of beer…(I did finish it…I mentioned this merely cos even the thought of wasting it was alarming enough…blasphemy!!!!)

Anyways, got up fresh as a daisy this morning and now that my “imaginary” friend Gappan’s back from his month long tour of the US, decided to go to the KGA for lunch. Totally lapped up the fresh lime juice and bacon wrapped prawns. Awesome!! Am all set to pick up Nish at 9.30 so until stuff happens, that’s all for now folks!

Garble…

…just random esoteric thoughts floating in my head today… had a really weird dream about getting mango juice for breakfast (..this is weird because anyone who knows me, knows I don’t do fruit!!) and blood sucking toy babies..(yea…decipher that!!!) Ramesh gets into town today and has promised me a pre-pre birthday eve, night about town so am kinda looking forward to that. Was wondering about anonymous blogs yesterday and came up with a few good reasons as to why I should make mine one too..

a) I could write things like “..i got it on with a stranger in a public restroom yesterday..” and it would not in any major way, affect my private life..
b) I wouldn’t have to write up a list of reasons as to why I need to make my blog anonymous in order to write “..i got it on with a stranger in a public restroom yesterday..” on my blog!
c) I could diss all my friends and not have them throw moldy fruit at me the next time I met em..(..not that I would want to…I so luuurrrrve you all sooo verrrryyy much..*sugar-coated*)
d) I could smirk away privately at all situations that happen to me, safe in the knowledge that today’s arcane event are just tomorrows scandalous blog articles..(oh yea…who’s to know the cute guy that was chatting me up was just a pimply, buck-toothed fart?!?)

…that’s all I came up with.. back to the boring life.

...

Aaaahh... the good ol days! This is a pic taken on my birthday two years ago...dinner with the girls at the Tea House of the August Moon in Delhi! Clockwise starting the top left thats Pooja, Ritz, Neels, moi and Varsh..I miss you all soooooooo much! Hopefully should be able to do a reunion soon. Muuuuuuuuaaaaaahh!

To be...(..like there's any other option!)

Oh crap…just when things were beginning to look up…bam!! its Monday morning all over again! I had a fun weekend though… (and I say this even though most of Sunday morning was spent in the pangs of an excruciating hangover…) and so we’re back to celebrating “Nostalgia Week” right here on Surreal Surges… or at least I am! Yesterday I cut myself.. with my Swiss knife.. I gave myself a nice deep “owie” on my right index finger just below the nail.. being the big brave girl that I am, I immediately stuck my finger an my mouth and called mum.. this is somewhat how the conversation went..

Me: …mooooommmmyyyyyyyyyyyy!!
Mum: ..my baaaabbbbyy!
Me: it huuuuuuuurrrrrts!
Mum: my baaaaaaaaby!..(my mum, being MY mum, is equally ‘in’ on the drama)
Me: Waaaaaaaaaaaaahhh!
Mum (now the doc): So which phalange is it? Have you cut the anterior or the posterior? Have you put some ice on it? Apply pressure to the abrasion..
Me: Huh?

So after about another ten minutes of this and another half an hour of goss..(..we have a varied bunch in the family…there’s floundering cousins, and drunk uncles and simpering mothers..(mine being the only one who’s justified, of course!) to talk about) I got to thinking about the times in my life when I’ve had to make choices and decisions and when I thought I was being my bravest. Not your garden variety “oh fuck it..what have I got to lose” instant bravado, but the less common and more judicious “consider all the options and make the right choice” kind. Here they are, in chronological order…

Art School: This one was tough, it was! Coming from a family full of doctors and engineers..(my mum has five other siblings, four of whom are doctors, and my dad’s a doc as well and his brother’s a phd…go figure!) it was generally frowned upon to want to be anything but one of the above. I remember my dad actually asking me once if what I really wanted to do with my life was paint signboards! But all in all, once I made up my mind and got into art school..(.. of course getting picked seventh on the merit list out of two thousand applicants really helped.. Nirav my best friend through college, being sixth..) everyone generally resigned themselves to having an “illiterate” in the family and peace prevailed!

Getting my crew cut: Yes! Call me silly but I actually had to literally psyche myself into getting one! I knew I wanted it, had completely and utterly made up my mind about it, but once I was in that chair it was soooooo hard! I made the poor woman go through at least eight different styles before I finally had her chop it all off! Mum was actually ok with my hair cos I’d been telling her for the longest time that I wanted to shave my head, so she figured this was the lesser of the two evils!

Leaving home: With all due respect, I would have to say this decision was definitely more an instant bravado type thingy than the judicious kind. But in retrospect, I’m actually glad I did it. When I look at most of my friends leading protected lives and not having to make a single decision for themselves, I pride myself on having had the experiences that I’ve had. I’ve spent nights at railway stations, taken up jobs painting murals at night so I’d have a place to sleep, lived at seedy motels, hung out at coffee shops sipping one cold cup of coffee..(all I could afford..)..oh the agony and the ecstasies! But the toughest part of the ordeal was not being able to pick up the phone and dial mum..(that was possibly the longest time we didn’t talk to each other.. close to a month). So many “owies” I couldn’t report! And of course, readers will be pleased to know that I’m totally making up for lost time now! 

Leaving Bombay: I don’t know what’s harder.. running away from a situation or running towards one. Then again, isn’t running away from a bad marriage also running towards a better life? Anyways, that is what I did! I put on my clogs, packed the duffle and ran! There are times, of course, like with all else in life, that you sometimes wonder, (..with an objectiveness now, that only time has afforded me..) what if? What if I had stayed? What if he had changed? What if we’d had children..(..hey, wait a minute…we WERE children!) ..countless what ifs! I think on some level I waited for the longest time for my ex husband to come get me, to cross that line and put himself out…show me some sign that he cared and wanted us to try again…but that never came. And even though I know that I would never have gone back, that’s something I will have to live with…the numerous what ifs! And I also know that the experience has made me the person I now am and love..(Yes I do love myself! I mean, I have a whole blog dedicated to me and THAT comes as a surprise??!!??)

Moving to Bangalore: Months of contemplation! Agonizing and considering and reconsidering and re-agonizing over the considered reconsiderations! Leaving behind my friends, my familiar places, the dim sum brunches, the furious card playing at Diwali, the second-hand books at Saket, the lovely Delhi winters( with the barbeques and bonfires! Not sad about skipping the summers though…those are HARSH!), Varsha, Tarun, Neela, Desoto, Carbon… And the whole moving thingy! I mean, everyone I know looks at a single girl who lives by herself and say.. ”lucky bum.. look at her, all foot-loose and fancy free” but there’s so much work that goes into doing just that! I mean…and gawd! ..there’s the maid, the watchmen, the plumbers, the electrician, the carpenter, the finding-of-a-parlour-near-the-new-place, the home delivery guys, the gas cylinder, the laundry, the list is endless! It’s hard people! I’m not complaining.. I love it! I love the whole having my hands full but I also demand credit! And if no one pats my back..(I’ll just call mum again later for validation .. hehehhee)..I’m going to do it myself! But I’m finally here and it’s been a great ride so far!

Oh there’s been a few other times …like the time I only ran out of the dentist’s office twice before they dragged me back in kicking and screaming for my tooth extraction.. and the time I..(Yes me!! I’ve been in the operation theatre for caesarean sections and brain surgery!) almost fainted when they cut open Varsha’s cyst but recovered and went in there and let her crush my hand to itty bitty pieces… and of course the classic “pretty much ran away from any man who happened to even vaguely show a remote interest in me” but finally have a boyfriend (aren’t I just soooo brave!!!)


And even though I know there will be harder decisions to make in the future, like what my investments should be and even the really tough “should I or shouldn’t I have another one of those delicious French apple cakes this evening” …something tells me I’ll get by…

Birthday’s coming! Birthday’s coming!

Contrary to what I would have most people believe, I actually enjoy my birthdays...no, really...I do! I love the whole drama…the planning of the party, the picking of the outfit, the opening of the presents..(my personal favorite!) and the usual heavy bouts of “examining my life” I go through every single year! The whole nine yards! This year, of course, Siddu got me off to a quick jump start when he sent me this picture of us. Taken way back in 1995! Gawd, nothing..(NOTHING!) brings on that sudden and over-whelming flash of nostalgia like a picture taken over a decade ago with the “love-of-one’s-then-innocent (..or so it seems now… at least at the threshold of a whole new era... I’m going to hit the big three-oh, oh sooo soon!)-young-life”! Here it is…possibly the cutest picture of us ever taken, niether of us being very photogenic..:P



It’s so startling to go down memory lane. I mean, for a girl who walked away from the city she’d spent her whole lifetime in with nary more than a duffle bag..(what was in it? Ahhh..four t-shirts, two pairs of jeans, some underwear and a toothbrush!) I sure have managed to collect an amazing amount of belongings..(do I hear baggage people?). I have very good reason, however, to believe that this is absolutely normal and even to be expected… but as they say, an unexamined life is hardly worth living, so we must proceed to do just that..(Statutory warning: The following may be contrived as extremely boring to most and only readers with an unusual capacity for useless information or very keen interest in the completely inane on-goings of my boring life should attempt to proceed! There! You have been warned!)

Ok, so the story begins on a dreary evening in Bombay when, at 7.30 in the evening I was dragged kicking and screaming, out of a poor frazzled Sunita’s womb..ok, ok…just kidding! Even I don’t have the patience to go that far back!! Lets just do the high-lights of the past few years…hmmm…ok…nope, don't have the patience for that either…ok so just today for now sounds good. Lets see..woke up at 8.30…was really exhausted from staying up organizing my bookshelf in alphabetical order and then size order..(cos the big books go behind and the smaller books go in front… it’s probably a Libran thing!) got the office… got a cup of coffee…spoke to Supri… then to Varsha. Finally got down to work about 10.30. Post-lunch (..that I skipped in the vain hope that I might manage to get into those pants I’m planning wear next Friday), ordered some furniture that had been pending cos of all the bloody holidays we’ve been having this past week..(..meant to sound like complaining in case my boss reads this…:D) Then got back and proceeded to work till about 25 mins ago (..not including the hour I took off for dinner…rare steak at the Leela Coffee Shop. I love that it’s two minutes from work!) and am now typing this here article. All ready to crash just about this minute and so will continue on the great nostalgia extravaganza week on Surreal Surges tomorrow!

Nighty-night people!

Monday morning blu... oops..it's Tuesday!

So my stuff finally got in Saturday night/ Sunday morning! I am still veering on that threshold between tremendous relief and absolute anxiety (..but I’m fairly certain the relief’s almost all gone now). How am I going to get the whole thing done before the gals get here?!? Right now that seems a veritable dream. I’ve managed to get a few things up..it’s probably not as bad as it seems…it’s just that it seems so absolutely petrifying to me right now! The washing machine’s up, and so’s the refrigerator and the microwave. I had the electricians in all of Monday getting all my various lights and power points up. So that’s something. Now its just the stuff I have to attend to…personally…by myself… there’s cartons of clothes, books, kitchenware..(this I’m going to con my maid into doing…ain’t I just the devil..:P), paraphernalia, all the photograph frames and other knick-knacks I’ve managed to somehow accumulate…siiiigh…it goes on for a bit.

The weekend, other than the dreary unpacking bit that I’ve already covered has been for the most part very relaxing.. went to TGI Friday and managed to get slugged before heading off to Athena on Friday night…which was open till…*gasp* …1 am… (..shocking how late people stay out these days!!!) .

Saturday was spent mostly waiting for the delivery truck to get in…and also working out..:D. I finally managed to drag said ass(..read mine!) on that walk I kept promising myself, after which, I even got in a surprising amount of crunches, presses and pushups. Of course, how much this monumental struggle affects the ass-in-question(..still mine!) is inversely proportional to the copious quantities of “French Apple Cake” I’ve been shoveling down my face. In a furious fit of self back-patting I managed to ‘reward’ all that exercise by discovering the “Corner Shop”, Bangalore’s own little corner ice-cream parlour, not a hop, skip and jump away from where I live! Oh joy…my world’s been soo much brighter since I happenenced upon this discovery! I would actually put up pictures of the perpetual crimes I’ve been committing ever since, but we’re still at that “can’t-keep-our-hands-off-each-other” phase, so... that will have to wait until such time that I find the patience to take a picture before wolfing down on the goodies.

Sunday actually saw me up at 7.30 am..(I didn’t know they still made those!!) getting my boxes unloaded and then off to the Leela for their sushi brunch..(I love these little schemes where-by I reward myself for all the tremendously useful stuff I do..(?!?) with food and alcohol…heh heh heh).. The soft-shelled crab and the eel are now part of the regular buffet…a development I want to take full credit for.. and the Mongolian stir-fry completely out of this world! Now that was a good afternoon, if I do say so myself!

Also amidst all that mayhem, I managed to see a few movies I’d been planning to. Finally watched Trainspotting, Memento and the Machinist. Quite an agenda you say…and I have to agree. All of the above being “sit-up-in-your-chair-and-stare-at-the-depths-of-human-depravity” sort of flicks. But still. Worth that watch. Re-saw bits of the final season of Sex and the City afterwards, just to get that gravely twang off my tongue.

So all in all its been a chaotic yet productive weekend… with stress on the productive and well…also on the chaotic… more when it happens!

Aaaaaaaaaaarrrrgggh!

Ok so I’m at the office, just sitting here as I have for the past two hours wondering what I’m going to do with myself this coming weekend. I haven’t the foggiest, really! So I’ve made a few calls, planted a few suggestions and now all I can do is merely wait for the dark forces to do my bidding! This week’s been quite trying really…got home on Monday and despite my best attempts to try to make unwilling legs go jog (I must admit I was hugely unsuccessful.. my legs seems to have more of a mind of their own than my mind) finally wound up jumping up and down my empty..(albeit newly painted!) house to music on my mp3 player…(Does 30 minutes of free-style ass-wiggling sub for 5 rounds of the park? Its certainly more fun!) My stuff (all 61 cartons of it…61 CARTONS people!!) is supposed to get in either this evening or by tomorrow and I am decidedly NOT looking forward to the whole unpacking-the-whole-house-on-my-ownsome-lonesome process…but I guess somebody’s gotta do it and it might as well be me!

Well anyways, as with all new places I’m still getting a feel of Bangalore. What I really want to do tonight is probably go to some nice new place..(..that pretty much covers 95% of the city considering all places here will be new to me!) and get me a nice draught and chill by the bar watching the world go by or maybe just the Bangalore bits of the world!. Just chill. Not too much to ask if I do say so myself!

The other thing though is that I’ve discovered me a new game.. F.E.A.R.! The meanest, leanest PC game that makes you shit in your pants every time you turn a proverbial corner! Man this game kicks ass! And on my super-duper souped up little Core 2 Duo with its awesome 26 fucking inch monitor this baby is violent to the point of actually feeling phantom spurts of blood on your face when you slaughter an enemy soldier! Really! I can’t sleep at night from wanting to play some more and yet am so spooked out while playing it I have to use one earphone so I don’t do a little dance to the phenomenal sound effects! Awesome!

One thing’s for sure is that I’m definitely going for the sushi brunch at the Leela Palace this Sunday. A gurl needs some “shee-shee foo-foo” in her life after all! So there!